On Looking
Today I am thinking a lot about accountability, or rather the lack of it I notice around me everyday. It's terribly narcissistic of me to create a section only for my own personal musings, but if you are reading this, then apparently it is not too unappealing of a read.
Have you ever been watching a particularly disturbing scene in a movie (or something similar), and the person you are with refuses to watch? I don't mean pointless slasher violence, I mean something even more disconcerting- the slow stab scene of Saving Private Ryan, for example , or the nauseating ending of Requiem for a Dream. Everyone covers their eyes, and that has bothered me since I was a child. I can remember thinking: somebody lived through that, and you can't even be bothered look? It seems like such a small price to pay for our privileged life, our comparatively moderate suffering. It seemed disrespectful, this refusal to acknowledge the human suffering, this refusal of solidarity.
This peculiar reaction from the childhood still follows me today, if in a different way. Whenever I tell people that I am majoring in International Relations, they each do the same thing: they raise their eyebrows, nod slowly, and say "wow," as if studying the world is the most outlandish thing they have ever heard. This initial reaction is typically followed by some proverbial mention of how insane the world has becomes: "I'm almost afraid to leave the country nowadays," "I just try to avoid the news as much as I can," "It's a crazy world out there," and countless more. There seems to be an instinct growing within the general populace to wash their hands of the world they have created, to hide away in fear and ignorance. And I want to talk about why that's wrong, because it is important. In fact, it might be the most important thing.
There is such a thing as accountability by proxy. We do have a responsibility to the world around us. Remember all those political points from The Sound of Music you didn't understand as a kid? One really stands out to me, and it's when the Captain's friend says: "What's going to happen is going to happen. Just make sure it doesn't happen to you," and the Captain shouts back, "Max, don't you ever say that again!" Max then replies: "You know I have no political convictions. Can I help it if other people do?" The Captain answers him: "Oh, yes, you can help it. You must help it."
Maybe it is easier to throw up your hands, to wonder what is happening to the world, to wash your hands of everything difficult and leave it up to somebody else to solve. But that isn't the right thing to do. The least you can do is understand, and educate yourself, and support whatever it is you choose to believe in. Only support whatever weighs down your stomach with absolute truth. It is our world, we live here, and it is our responsibility to do the best we can we can with it, not only the most we are comfortable with.
Maybe you can't change the world. Maybe it isn't all our fault, our problem to fix.
But the least you can do is look.
This is Kilmainham Gaol, a haunting prison I visited in Ireland. Many heroes of Irish history were executed in this jail, particularly the leaders of the famed Easter Rising. One of those leaders died here (James Connelly, if I am remembering correctly), over the very spot the cross sits on. He was already grievously ill and unable to stand for the firing squad as the other leaders had been. According to our tour guide, he was brought through the door shown in the right of the photograph, secured in a chair, and executed. Seeing this was something quiet and profound, and I am thankful I was able to look at it, however uncomfortable the story may have been. This is the most suitable photo I have of why it is important to stare long and hard at the sacrifices people have made in the past for the world we know today.